Updated: Oct 12, 2020
Ahh the smell of sweet summer romance is in the air; warm nights, days spent by the water, the chance of love sparking.
LOVE is on the mind for many.
Because of that – there’s one very important topic I’d like to touch on as those of us singles on the prowl for love venture off on our quest so we don’t find ourselves in that same old story; that vicious cycle of meeting yet another one that we “thought would be it” but wasn’t.
Each one of us holds the key to unlocking this mystery door to finding the right partner. The name of that key is reality.
We’ve all been there.
You meet. They seem perfect. They “could be the one!”
Speed-bumps rise from the pits of relationship hell, but you barrel over them with one thing in mind – the future.
“We’ll get through it. Once (insert name here) gets a new job and they can relax, things will lighten up.”
"If I just had a ring and knew how committed they were, things would be different.”
“If he/she stopped (insert annoying/unattractive/abusive quality here), we wouldn’t be in this mess!”
Notice a trend?
Here we are focusing on what could happen with this person. Things will get easier once xyz happens. And all of it depends a need for change in another.
We are so busy focusing on what could be, that we aren’t paying attention to what is. We miss out on an entire reality of who the person is we are actually dating; of the actual relationship that we’re in. Our hope for the future trumps everything that’s actually happening.
Because we don’t want to acknowledge the reality of our relationship and the fact that it’s not working. We just have our eye on the prize – the ultimate goal. The fantasy love story that isn’t actually there – and sorry – never will be.
We’ve fallen in love with potential.
And we’ve done it many times.
I’ve been there, too.
Once he had a better job, he wouldn’t be so angry/emotionally abusive and we’d have an easier time together.
Once I had a ring, it’d be better because I’d know he was serious about me.
Once he opened up to me about his feelings and communicated, we could get along.
News flash - he/she never did. He/she never will.
I lived on a hope, but all along held the key to figuring it out: stepping into the reality of who he was, who I was, and the relationship we were in that just wasn’t right.
Ladies, Gentleman – we spend far too much time in relationships with people we shouldn’t be with – all because we hold on so tightly to that hope – to that potential.
Do yourself a HUGE favor to save yourself the pain and the time that a relationship can cause.
See the one you have your eye on for who they are – not what you want them to be.